ahriman_gonzo

Ah Sunday  after a get together-no hangover, slight arm pain and tiredness. Not bad.

Parents are arriving up next Friday to visit and see how the other child' is living. Been on an orgy of tidying and destruction of old cardboard boxes. And now I get to lay with a carpet cleaner-joy.
I really wish I didn't give a shite about them visiting but it is the 1st time in...6?...years that my parents have ever dragged themselves from the backwater I grew up in. I suppose I should be grateful.

ME trundles on-got up to lvl 47 with my KNGHT OF JUSTICE!! Shep-I'm not bothered about hitting 60-I just need an importable Shep for 2.

D&D game looks resolved-starting next week Clavicus Garthul is gonna be smiting some bitches. I will admit to being one of those who were..horrified that Dragonborn bcame a core race in 4 e (DRAGONBOOBS!) but I do dig them as Paladin's. I can see them righting wrongs all whilst yelling "I AM A MAN!"

You may have noticed Twiter has been a rather dominant feature-I ned to updated this more often. I need to kepp Twiter for communiques and random thinkings. Then again no one reads this so, hey ho.
On Wednesday I went to the new sweet store in town. Oh dear...I am banned for a reason from pick and mix-spent near £20 on it once- and this is...heaven. EVery fucking sweet I can think of lines the walls, American imports glisten with E numbers and expense and strange and terribl things from yesteryeard dwell in glass jars (fizzbombs anyone?) Someone may need to take my wallet away before I venture in.

So anyway-TIDYTIDYTIDYTIDYTIDYTIDY.....

Seriously-they can kiss my arse.

As you may have noticed I have a Twitter. Here I will talk shit whine and -DAHN DAH DAHHHHHH!-Do my review of Britains General Election as it happens. Why? Several reasons-it's a interesting experiment, I am a politics junkie and do it anyway, I need to excersise my swearing muscles and it's yet more writing practise. So-When it's announced get ready for a month of abuse, hatred, violent fantasies and semi pornographic diatribes.

So The Cleveland show....It's about a funny as CancerHerpes. That you get-not someone you dislike.
Actually now there was a good Kurt Cobain joke.

So a D&D game may be in the offing. Time to read the source book and figure out what the hell to play. Pre -genned characters are in the offing...but one day I'd love to play a Mind Flayer on a mission-to Flay the tastiest minds in all the world.

Well another week down. Still not finished ME again and to be honest ME2 isn't really making me jump.
Also have more pressing concerns-need a new rest for my laptop. I think after using this shitty tea tray for years I'm in danger of knackering my ports. Best not to do that-how else will I be able to read Dark Heresy books and watch the Venture Brothers?

Mel has a bad throat. Rare she gets sick but more likely I'll get it. Whoo colds!

Cosmo, our russian dwarf hamster continues to amuse. He sits, Buddaha-like, scratching away-only to topple side ways like a drunk fat man.
Truly the animal kingdom is a cracking source of comedy.

Yet again I'm out of books to read. May have to read Catcher in the Rye again now Salinger's dead. Sugestions?

Also Australia have banned small boobs in porn-and no I'm not drunk and making shit up- because it encourages Paedophillia.
jezebel.com/5458674/rumor-australia-bans-porn-with-small+breasted-women
I think I'm going to stop believing Australia exists until they stop being silly.

Yes I've restarted Mass Effect 1. Why? Possibly because I'm getting sucked into the hype machine, with it's threshers,grinders and fucker uppers of  hope and expectation. I'm possibly, maybe, looking forward to ME2. But no more. Shut up I do not love her! Stop writing notes saying Ahriman loves ME2! Childish....
But I may pick it up when the carnage clears and I finish the 30 billion games I have to chew through.

My new job is a real thrill an aeon place. But it is actually not that bad. Sure my back is sore and my eyes are fritzed by the screen it feels as though I do something important-even if it isn't for Phoenix Wright (I WAS LIED TO!)

So yeah- I've been a lazy cunt of late and have written....er...nothing. So I have an ingenious plan and it is coming to fruition. basically teasing mself with my ideas. Like a burlesque dancer I allow my mind to wander to the awesome game/comic/ novel and read snatches of it. I then think "Wow awesome, where can I read that!?" and then let a little voice say "You haven't written it yet you knob." I then grind my teeth and vow to write it down. I's edin me ever closer.
Also decided to use the multiple projects method ie have seveal things to do so you don't get sick of them. They are

Donor-A Steampunk Jack The Ripper-esque mystery set in London 1886. As a madman prowls the streets of Londinium and slaughters the lower classes, organ donations are on the rise....It's up to Mackleroy (Once 15th in line to the throne-disbarred for calling the Queen 'Vicky you old tart') and O Malley (A de-frocked priest of the church of Tesla) to catch the bastard and discover the meaning behind the runes carved into victims.

Armitage-Lovecraftian horror game whose script and setting I shall develop. Following Thadeus Armitage from young man in New innsmouth to his tenure at Miskatonic University and his battles with the mythos-from the disturbing revaltions of his own family, to The windswept Northern Canadian wilds where Ithaqua walks to The Circus of The Yellow king, the player shall experience the terror of the Old Ones as they make thier move to align the stars and walk freely again...

Agency-Lovecaftian (again) comic wherin the Agency of the title is tasked with defending man kind from the horrors of the Cosmos and Mythos. Agents are chosen for thier aptiuide and brushes with the Beyond and carry on thier normal lives....until the call on that black mobile comes in. Few reoccuring characters, a high mortality rate, copious amounts of eldritch gore and a Welshman with a VERY short temper.
Think Global Frequency meets Ghostbusters.

Ceremony/ Nightwatchman-Two short Warhammer stories. Ceremony is set in the 40k universe on the primal world of Feggana where young Hanak will undergo harsh trials to become one of the 'Warriors of the Sky'. Nightwatchman is a Fantasy story set in Nuln, where a rough merc recounts his tale and belief in the Skaven.

So clearly plent to be getting on with.
Also a notice-I am consider doing something special this election (Which is definately not May 6th.) And by special I don't mean waving my penis at traffic yelling 'Vive le sport.' No  am talking about Twater. Er...Twitter. I am thinkng of signing up, logging in and twittering away as the results come in on election night, fueled only by beer, Monster energy drink, cynicism, hatred, misanthropy and sheer British stubborness.
Would anyone care? Probably not but I'd like your thoughts. And I promise only to use the word Cunt when Mandelsons on screen ( I'll have to go get the Profanisaurus to find new terms for Cameron et al.)

And it's good bye from me...
and it's goodbye from him.

...to plagarise Warren Ellis.
I have buger all on today so I shall spend it unproductively. As always. Breakfast of Square Sausage rolls (Scotlands 2nd greates invention after Haggis), Apple juice and Haribo (Nutritious!) Then to the vidya-a negelected Assassins Creed, Bayoneta, GTA 4 and maybe restart ME for old times sake. I like to keep busy.
Spent last night watching a Live Stream from 4chan's /v/. It may seem odd but it was a ton of fun. Watching someone play games interests me and the chat system allows people to give advice, spew shit or just have a laugh. Watched Abe's Exodus (Godamn I forgot how hard that game was!) and a ROM-hack Zelda game made of Bricks and Dragonforce. I between were bizzare videos that only the diseased minds at 4chan could create. Next time 'm bored I'll kck back with some booze and just watch for hours and hours.

Speaking of Live streaming I need to work out how to do it. I'd love to know how so I could, say Stream GW-Banned fan film Damnatus to some friends. Must investigate further.

Welcome to my-thrill-a-decade existance.

Just watching Spoony review Transformers 2 reminded me (Or rather un repressed) the horror that was Battlefield Eartth.

Shitty Cinematography, shitty plot,  Sub Godzilla SFX and John Travolta scraping the barrell of his crack pot religion.
Dear sweet Xenu, it's not as if the plot even makes sense-how did the alien MISS those Jets? How is this guy, a man who has never flown befoe suddenly able to fly like Maverick and Iceman? HOW THE FUCK IS THIS 2 HOURS LONG?

Now I'm angry again.

Spent yesterday and Today at Mel's parents for her dad's b.day. I picked him up some Blu-Ray to play on his shiny new player. He seemed happy.
Had a good evening on TF2. Flamered people and also pulled off some good work with a Kritzerkreig. I really like it as a weapon and it seems it's rarely used. Fun and functional.
Tried a new BrewDog product-5AM Saint. Pretty nice but a strong bitterness at the end. Only for those who like the bitter taste.
Probably get round to some more Bayonetta tomorrow-my RAEG has subsided over it's cheapness. I only hope it doesn't continue to be an evil little shit as opposed to hard.
I feel fucked. Slept on a matress of STEEL last night and frankly bed looks tempting. Work tomorrow=yay. Fuck it.

Well in my simple clerical job I managed to hurt my back. I'm special me.
I haven't had anything to write as I have done precisely dick. Played some Bayonetta, but rage quit after a new enemy -Kinship-appeared. 9Imagine FF8's Doomtrain but Holy looking.) Now don't get me wrong-some of these bad guys are bastards-Grace and Glory, the double teaming claw bastards come to mind-but to cheap shot you before you can react after a CUTSCENE!? There is literally no time to dodge-you just have to take the hit. It smacks of cheap and I raged harder than I've raged in a while. I'll play some AC until my rage subsides.

Finished The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. Odd is the word. Whilst I'l always prefer Pooley and O'Malley and their exploits, this was a laugh. Eddie the bear is a great character, full of sarcasm, brains and usually booze. I'd love a live action version
Started On Better than sex by HST. Only 10 pages in but it's shaping up to be a vicious and bitter harangue.
Goody.

And finally-The legend of Koizumi-the manga where ex-Japanese PM Koizumi battles other world leaders via Mahjong. Is to become an anime.
I speak for all when I say-WTF!?

What started off as an average day ended with me owning a Russian Dwarf Hamster named Cosmo.

It's a funny old world ain't it?

So my first week of work ended.What have I learned? Little except how complex some things can be when people MAKE them complex.
Still it's not too bad-just need a notepad next to me to jot down ideas as and when they come and I'll be fine.

In a flurry of activity a good chunk of my Amazon ordered dropped in. Warren Ellis Global Frequency, Green Lantern:Rebirth, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse (What a long title) and Tales of Heresy. If I'm honest I'm really looking forward the the Bunnies...simply because I need an injection of Rankin's silliness. The Comics look sumptuous Rebirth looking particularly nice. I need a bigger shelving unit for all my books-it's getting quite out of hand. Still awaiting DC's Kingdom Come and Hunter S Thompsons Better than Sex-one of the few things he wrote I've not managed to get my grubby mitts on. Still this little lot should keep me amused for a week.

Speaking of amusing I swung by Gamestation on my hour and a quarter lunchbreak (!) and, after discarding Dragon Age (never has gaming felt more chore like-it was comparable to washing the dishes), I grabed a copy of Bayonetta. Having played the demo I was somewhat informed as to how it goes but...WOW. This game is FUN! Old school difficulty, no hand holding here. Combats fluid and, though I'm no master, Witch Time is gonna be useful. The opening Cinematic is bloody funny and so OTT you really can't help but laugh. This game does not take itself at all seriously-referencing random game characters, going in for every possible crotch shot and low angle view, revelling in telling Physics to piss off and having characters who sound suspiciously like Liz Hurley and Danny deVito. Try the demo but it contains not even 1% of the sheer madness this game has to offer. Won't let it overshadow Assassins Creed though- I'm actually interested in this storyline and the way it'll pan out for Desmond et al.

Meanwhile in other news, the internet started arguing with itself about Kotaku's Darksiders review and Penny Arcades denunciation of it.
My 2p: It looks like Rob Liefeld threw up on WOW, crossed with a Storyline that, frankly, is on par with this: spoonyexperiment.com/2009/05/21/atop-the-fourth-wall-warrior-1/

So today (Saturday) shall be a day of tidying and shopping, leaving Sunday clear for lazy arsedness.
....
Is it the end of the month yet?